In the beginning, the Cat lived in a swimming pool. He enjoyed splashing around, enjoyed the feeling of the cool, soothing water flowing over his fur.
Then the Man came along. He kicked the Cat out of the pool, and started living there himself instead, lounging in and around the water, day and night. The Cat was pissed off, but stayed away.
Nevertheless, the Man had qualms. “I can see that Cat is going to be trouble,” he said, then sent the Dog to kill him. The Cat slashed the Dog across the nose and the Dog ran back crying. Then the Man sent the Snake after the Cat. The Cat slashed the Snake down its belly and it slithered back, defeated.
This happened every night. Every night, the Man sent the Dog and the Snake to kill the Cat, and every night, they came back half dead and looking like shit.
Finally, the Cat had had enough of this bullshit. He went back to the pool.
"Look, Man," he said, as the Man’s minions cowered in a corner. "What the fuck is wrong with you? First you kick me out of the swimming pool. That sucked. but whatever. And then you send these assholes every night to kill me? What the hell, Man."
The Man was at this point a little high. Actually, he was very high. “I’ll show you why,” he giggled.
He led the Cat to the pool’s drain. “Look, Cat. What do you see?”
The Cat looked. At first it looked just like an ordinary drain. Then it seemed to come alive, to throb and pulsate. With a gasp, the Cat realized it was a throat.
"The drain is a throat, and the swimming pool is the mouth of a buried god," grinned the Man, who was so high by now the Cat could have slashed his flesh and he wouldn’t even have felt it. "It wants to consume me, the Dog, the Snake, this land, everyone and everything — but most of all it wants to consume you, dear Cat. It misses the feel of you in its mouth. It wants to crush you in its terrible jaws."
"You are favored, Cat," the Man went on. "The endless monster below wants you most of all. But I am content to live near and in its power, and take whatever I can for myself. Who knows? Perhaps someday, I will be favored too."
The Cat slashed the Man across his face, and left him lying by the poolside, bleeding and laughing. And that is why to this day, the Cat looks down on Men, and Dogs, and Snakes, and hates the water.